That just about describes my day earlier this week. Overall, I'm a positive person and pretty good at finding the silver lining in just about anything. Not 2 days ago.
Words came out of my mouth that would make a sailor more comfortable than a devoted Yogini. Tears streamed; emotions and doubts came flying out.
This is not my usual state, but these feelings needed to come out, and that was that.
Overall, I'm a disciplined and hard-working type, but yesterday I enjoyed the nice weather. Weeds were pulled, bushes trimmed, and the dog walked. All before breakfast. I skipped my usual morning Hatha practice and didn't even sit for a formal meditation. A welcome break from a disciplined routine.
The air was crisp, the soil fertile, and the puppy happy.
This morning's practice, I set an intention to see things differently. Inversions, naturally, followed. Between more intense asanas and anytime prior to a headstand, I take time to rest. TKV Desikachar recommends in the middle of an asana practice to "rest awhile in savasana". These are mini-rest, not the final savasana deep relaxation. Just enough to release tension and enter the next asana with calmness and steadiness--sthira.
For some reason, today it occurred to me this was the new perspective that I needed. In my practice I had realized and valued mini-rests, but throughout the day I had strived to learn more and be my best all the time. Frankly, it's exhausting!
Today, I allow the rests to come between each activity. These are not deep sleeping states or times with no awareness. They are mini-rests, each one unique. Perhaps, a stroll in the sunlight, writing a letter, or even doing the dishes. No stress of planning for the future or trying so hard to "be my best."
As Abe Lincoln said,
"The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.”
Today is the first day of the rest of your life!