Monday, March 10, 2008

Anger Management Tips

When BJ (my firstborn) was an infant, there were days that I would call Scott (BJ's dad) and tell him to get home soon or I just might throw BJ through the window. (Don't worry, I never followed through!)

Looking back, and even at the time, I was filled with guilt and shame at not being able to calm this baby. He cried most of the time and suffered from chronic 3d degree colic. It was over four years before we actually slept through the night.

At the time, Yoga and meditation were foreign to me. I led a relatively unconscious life. I fully identified with my thoughts and emotions--not realizing they were not who I am.

Today, I believe that I would handle a challenging baby very differently. And I did handle my second child with more patience and centering.

What do you do when your emotions get the better of you? As one woman put on her blog, "What do you do when you can't take it any more?" The suggestions this blogger suggested in her poll are as follows:

I leave the situation.
I talk about it to whomever will listen.
I seek counseling.
I just suck it in and accept it.
I get it worked out on the spot.

I'd like to suggest some other ideas. In order to live a conscious life, which is truly what Yoga is about, consider other options to address feelings that storm in and want to take over:

Lie in savasana (on your back) and watch the feelings as a curiosity. See them for the energy that they are; not who you are but rather an energy passing through. Allow the feelings to pass and flow.

Meditate and find yourself re-connecting to Source. When you act from this place of peace, you separate yourSelf from emotions and act with more compassion and love.

Take a warm bath with the focus to renew. Use candles and soft music.

Take a walk in nature. If you stay present and notice the trees, birds, dirt, clouds, and sky, then you will begin to re-connect with who you really are.

In the throw of things, so to speak, stay aware. Resist getting pulled into your emotions. Watch them. Witness them. But always remember, you are not your feelings.

This all comes easier with a strong meditation practice. One might compare it to attempting to sail for the first time during a turbulent storm at sea. Odds are you'll sink. However, if you've been sailing in smooth waters and perhaps choppy ones, when the big storm comes you'll stand a good chance of surviving.

Love Much,


Today is the first day of the rest of your life!

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